The KISS Principle

I don’t want the focus of this blog to be just about saving money, because that is not the focus of my life. The focus of my life is my family, and how we’ve taken a simple retro-approach to living. We started this journey by following the KISS Principle. The KISS Principle was first introduced to me in JR High Art and I have loved it ever since. KISS is an acronym for Keep It Simple Stupid. Basically, the more complex a system the more room there is for error. For us, we’ve found that by cutting back on the complexities of life we are not only happier, but we also have more money!

To have a simple and low-key lifestyle we looked at how families were raised in previous generations. The first logical step for us was to scale back and live below our means. We spend our money as if we only have 2/3 of our actual income. At first it feels like you’re sacrificing, until you see your bank account numbers increasing. Yes, we could afford a big car payment…we just chose not to have one. My car does not define me and most of my friends probably couldn’t tell you what I drive. FYI…it’s a Cavalier and I haven’t had a car payment in years. Is it fancy? Nope. Does it make me feel important when I drive it? Nah, but I don’t need a vehicle for that. If I had to rely on my car in order to impress people, I would start seeing a therapist for self-esteem issues.

The next thing we scaled back on was our home. When I was pregnant we were on the verge of buying a nice, large home. It was beautiful and we could afford the monthly payments for the next 30 years. We finally opted to stay in our small 3-bedroom home. Our little yellow house is quite unremarkable (at best). It’s neither beautiful nor a showpiece, it’s just practical. The amount of money required to heat & cool our home is so low it’s almost embarrassing. I would have a heart attack trying to heat & cool a large home with high ceilings. Besides, it’s the people who live inside these little walls and in the homes around us that really make this a special place. (Not to mention it’s almost paid off…. 20 years earlier than planned!!)

One of my favorite “life upgrades” was to unplug from the digital world and take a hands-on approach to parenting. Grandma didn’t have a color TV with 24 hr cartoons to prop her baby in front of. She actually had to interact with her children. She had to find or invent things to keep them busy when she had her own business to tend to.

As a tiny infant, instead of laying our son in his crib I would lay him on my chest and we would have the most amazing conversations. We didn’t have to spend a fortune on learning toys because my husband would walk him around the house and yard pointing at every object they passed discussing their size, shape and color. We would repeatedly count his fingers & toes out loud. I’m guessing this is the reason he could count to 20 by his 1^st birthday. I started reading to him the first night I brought him home. There are so many opportunities for learning during the first year. Opportunities that are missed if the baby spends large quantities of time propped in front of the TV. What I'm saying is, just play WITH your kids (even babies) and you'll be amazed at not only what they learn from you, but what you learn from them.

A continuation of “unplugging” was to implement  mandatory family dinner. The table shouldn't be used only at Thanksgiving! SO, suppertime meals aren’t allowed in the living room. All electronic devices are shut off. If you try to call my house between 6p and 6:45, I’m sorry, but you will get the answering machine. While I’m cooking, both of my guys tend to gravitate to the kitchen and we chat while the food is being prepared. Sometimes they jump in and help. This unexpected perk wasn’t planned; it just sort of happened and then became habit. Without being prompted, my kindergartener grabs a dishrag and the bottle of cleaner to scrub down the table just before supper is finished cooking. Then he sets the table with plates and utensils. A great deal of family bonding takes place during our evening meal ritual.

 Face-Time ~ Honestly, I’m not a video game Nazi and anti-everything-digital! I just don’t think electronics should be the main focus of our family. I remember playing euchre late at night on Yahoo games with my friends. We had fun, but it wasn’t the same as sitting around a table with a pizza until 3am. It lost a bit of it’s magic. I think a lot of kids never get to really experience that “magic” of face-time bonding. Now that there are free or cheap subscriptions to MMO games, Facebook to express emotions, texting instead of writing a note or just talking; our kids’ friends almost become faceless. Well, they’re only emulating us! One of my biggest pet peeves is when I’m talking to someone and then I realize they’re texting. I think it is so rude. For that reason (much to the irritation of most of my friends) I shut my cell phone off when I’m with my family. My family comes first. I don’t want my husband or son to feel second-rate. I also don’t want my son to think its OK to text at the dinner table or when someone is trying to talk to him. If you REALLY need to tell me that the ice cream you just had at DQ is the most amazing thing ever, just dial my home number! (If it’s between 6pm & 6:45pm just leave a message on the machine)

Trust me when I tell you there is a great deal of bonding that takes place over a bowl of popcorn and a board game. Sure, it would be easier to have him go watch TV or let him play his DS all evening. Instead, we curl up on the couch and read every evening. During the summer we use our hammock for reading purposes. His favorite Christmas gift this year was a Bug Encyclopedia!! Another family favorite is “kitchen dancing”. The day I brought him home from the hospital we were standing in the kitchen and “Strangers in the Night” came on the radio and I started dancing with him. Now we get down & boogie with all types of music until we’re too exhausted to breathe!

Our little guy spends a lot of time outside getting dirty. Rule #1: He NEVER gets in trouble for ruining his clothes outside. Retro Mama Fact: little boys wash and so do their clothes. If it gets ruined, oh well. He was going to outgrow it in 3 months anyway. I have bigger things to stress about than whether or not a 6-year-old boy has holes in the knees of his pants! Outside time shouldn’t require a lot of prep or be a big planned event to a park; it should just be something kids do naturally & spontaneously. We have a small yard, but he still has plenty of room to explore. I always keep a stock of sidewalk chalk & bubbles in the garage. There is a sidewalk in front of our house perfect for hop-scotch or riding his bike. Thanks to a good neighbor, there is a sandbox buried somewhere under a big pile of sand. It’s even complete with shovels and Tonka trucks. We have a small rock garden and in the summer we plant a vegetable garden. We have a big tree perfect for climbing…I gave up 2 years ago trying to keep him out of it. The point is… if you have a few things for them to do outside, and they KNOW they’re not going to be allowed to watch TV or play video games inside they miraculously figure out how to keep themselves busy. You don’t need a $2000 swing set or a massive trampoline. Kids really only need their imaginations and permission to use them.

Live Simply, Be Happy